Plays, Spelling Bees, & Volleyball... OH MY!

Wow! It has been a long time since I have updated this blog. Camryn has had many accomplishments in the battle against her selective mutism since I last wrote. I wish I had been more diligent in posting them in a timely manner.

One such accomplishment was her participation in a school musical last school year. She was the "white stag" in a presentation of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. As part of her role, she had to do a 22-measure dance, solo, all by herself!!! She did it, and I was so proud.

Another accomplishment came about the same time last year. She qualified for the Washington County Spelling Bee and participated along with close to 40 other students in the county. She had to walk up to the microphone, state her name, school, and parents' names, along with the word she was given to spell. She got out in the second round only because she spoke the spelling of the word too quietly and was asked to repeat it. When she repeated it, she changed the spelling, thinking that she had spelled it wrong the first time. We didn't care, though. I've never seen her so anxious as she was before the spelling bee, so the fact that she DID IT, thrilled us!

Now, fast forward to this school year... Camryn is on the Junior High Volleyball team. While she doesn't have to talk much (except to call out, "Mine," or "Got it!"), she does have to "perform" in front of an audience. This alone is quite an accomplishment for her. She is quite serious about volleyball and begs us to practice with her every night after her homework is done.

Thanks again to all of you who keep Camryn in your prayers! Please continue to do so!

For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:36

A Day in History!

Veteran's Day, November 11, 2009 will go down as a day in history in Camryn's life. She participated in her school's Veteran's Day program... really participated! She had seven short speaking lines that she memorized and spoke (loud and clearly, I might add) into the microphone. She sang, she moved around the stage, and did most of the motions. It was an incredible experience that I will never forget! She has come so far! Praise the Lord!

So Long, S.M.!

Camryn is continuing to blossom at BCA. I was in her classroom yesterday, and she read a sentence out loud and answered questions on what part was the subject, verb, etc. Her voice was very, very soft, but loud enough for her teacher to hear her.

A couple of weeks ago, Camryn wanted to invite a friend to spend the night. She called her mom's cell phone and talked to her for a couple of minutes about the sleepover. When she got off the phone, I commended her for her speaking to someone she doesn't know on the phone. Her response... "Mommy, it's not a big deal. I don't have S.M. anymore!" God is so amazing!

First Two Days of New School

Wow! It's only been two days at BCA, and our family is feeling SO BLESSED!!! Camryn is freely speaking to the other children in her class, even her teacher, PLUS... here's the biggie... SHE READ OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF HER CLASS (and more than once yesterday!!!) WOO HOO! PRAISE THE LORD!!!

BCA-Bound

Recently, we made the decision to enroll Camryn in a private Christian school. It was difficult for us to imagine her thriving in the middle school environment where three elementary schools merge into one and where she would be taught by four teachers.

In her new school, she will have a total of nine students in her class and one teacher. We have also decided to enroll her in fourth grade at the new school. She will be repeating fourth, but we felt that this was the best decision based on her maturity level (social, physical, and academic). Besides, it will be a whole new curriculum, so it's not like she'll be re-learning all the same material.

There is a strict dress code at BCA, one in which Camryn will have to grow accustomed to. Camryn is very creative and trendy with her clothing. It's part of who she is. Plus, she's all about comfort. This goes along with Sensory Processing Disorder where any kind of tight or fitting clothing, itchy tags, etc. are problemsome. Socks are a problem as the seam always bothers her. (I'm gonna search for some seamless socks for her). But, for me, these new clothes are a mother's dream! Khaki skorts, polo shirts, plaid jumpers, and preppy shoes! I love it!!!

Please continue to pray for Camryn as she begins a new chapter in her life!

Currently off the Paxil

Camryn is now off Paxil. I decided to see what would happen if she stopped taking it. So right around the beginning of our Christmas break, I stopped giving it to her. Other than some non-S.M. anxiousness, she hasn't been any less talkative with her friends. I've noticed some general anxiety, such as her being a little more cautious than usual (she's overly conscious already). This is what it might look like: We're in a parking lot, and a car heads towards us. Camryn might pull on me to quickly get out of the way even when I'm very full aware that a car is coming towards us. Or, she worries that something close to the edge of a table might fall off. Stuff like that, which I can totally live with vs. her not having any kind of social life outside of her own home. I will probably request that she begin on it again around the beginning of August since she will be starting Middle School next year (new building, new teachers, more teachers, more transitions, new students, etc.). I'll keep you posted. Thanks again for caring about Camryn!

2008 Reflections

Camryn had a great Christmas. She must've been on Santa's "very nice" list! She's progressed so much over 2008. Except for talking to teachers, she's totally herself at school. She just seems to have a mind-block against talking to teachers. The odd thing, though, is that she will talk sometimes to substitute teachers... crazy! I think it must have something to do with her perceived expectation to talk to her teachers (from them and me, too, I'm sure). As we've been off for Christmas vacation, it seems that every store we go to, the cashier will ask her if she had a good Christmas. Mostly, she will do nothing, so of course, I answer for her. But, sometimes if I prompt her, she will slightly nod her head yes. Still a big step for her. Around family from both sides, she was pretty comfortable with everyone hearing her voice. Around my brother and his family (two of which are children), she talked freely. Of course, she's still never directly talked to my brother, but freely lets him hear her voice. Around Gary's mom's family, again there were children there, so she was freely talking. However, again, she wouldn't talk directly to an adult other than MiMi or Opa. She would communicate non-verbally to most people, though. With Gary's dad, however, there were no children there, so she stayed pretty quiet. So... just a little reflection/update for you. Thanks for loving and caring for Camryn. Hope you have a blessed new year!

Update

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I guess there really hasn't been much to write about. Camryn has been talking to all her friends and most classmates since the beginning of the school year, but she has yet to talk to her teachers. She has talked on occasion to her P.E. teacher, however. Her grades are not what they should be. It seems like everytime we get her S.M. under control, she becomes more social (the idea) but her grades fall. Please continue to pray for her.

Summer is Coming to an End

I haven't updated Camryn's blog much this summer. Her S.M. stays pretty well hidden over the summer with the absence of the school environment. She's had lots of playdates (not enough, though in her opinion). We are looking forward to her fourth grade year.

Camryn's Kittens

Our kittens are five weeks old, but if cats do indeed have nine lives, I'm pretty sure they've used up at least half of them... several long stories that I don't have the time and/or energy to go into here, but anyway, here are some pictures of them Camryn and I took a couple of days ago when Camryn decided to play "dress-up" with them. Notice that the one wearing Barbie's nightgown is the boy. The girl wasn't as into it!

Update

It's been over a month since I last updated this blog. Forgive me... I've been busy with end of the school year stuff, but now, school's out for the summer!!!

Camryn has had many, many successes over the past month. I'll do my best to try to remember as many as I can.

* Although we didn't get to go to her school awards program, (too much going on that we didn't realize when it was), Camryn was able to walk onto the stage to accept her awards. They sent a picture home with her, though. She definitely had on her "S.M. face," but the most important thing is that she did it!

* I had to work last Monday and Tuesday finishing up the school year, so my mom took Camryn to VBS those first two days. There wasn't an opportunity, as a result, for me to go in, give her teachers one of my little SM cards explaining why Camryn may not talk, which has been my standard procedure for the last several years. But when I took Camryn in on that Wednesday morning, she went right in and sat with her group. The next morning, I figured out that I could use the car rider line to drop her off. I had asked her if she had talked to any of her teachers. She said no, but that she had talked to the person handing out name tags since she had to tell them her name. So, I drove through the car rider line, she got out immediately (no hesitation), and walked up to the name tag table. She must've told the lady her name because she immediately started looking for the appropriate name tag.

* She participated in her VBS program last Thursday night. She was placed front row/center on the stage. I wasn't sure how that was going to work. Last summer, I would've had to tell them to move her to a different spot. Anyway, she didn't sing, but she did most of the movements. That is, until she spotted me watching her. Then she would stop and give me this really mean-looking stare, so then I would have to purposefully look at someone else performing until she looked away. When she caught me looking at her again, we'd go through the same scenario. For the time that she was sitting on the stage watching the rest of the program, she continued to motion to me that she was cold. She must've done this about 10 times. Of course, there was nothing I could do about it, but I was amazed that she would communicate with me in front of such a large crowd, even if it was non-verbal.

* She has been talking to more of her friends. There is a little girl in her Sunday School class that she knew from Kool After School that she invited to sit with us during church yesterday. Before this, there was only one little girl at church she would talk to.

* Last Saturday morning, I loaded up my truck with garage sale stuff to take to my parents' garage. I had already told Camryn that I would need her to go into the house (they weren't there), go down the stairs to the garage, and click the button to open the garage door. While this type of action is not related to her SM, it is very much related to her overall anxiety. I really didn't think she would do it... walking into a dark house, going down a set of dark stairs, and opening a door to a dark garage... but she amazed me and did it, without any hesitation!

So, I think this will give you a good picture of Camryn's recent progress. We are extremly blessed with all she has accomplished since beginning her medication at the end of March. I'm still not naive enough to think that her SM is "cured." Not talking is only a symptom of her overall anxiety, and we continue to see her struggles with anxiousness in other areas of her life.

So, please do me a favor... STOP for just a moment and thank God for anwering our prayers about Camryn talking in school and please pray that He would continue to loosen the chains that bind Camryn in the form of anxiety. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

On Stage

I thought it was a fluke, but it happened again this week. Every Sunday I sing in my church's praise band. At the end of the service, we sing a song as church members are leaving, so my family has to wait for me to finish before we can leave. Last week, I prompted Camryn to come up on the stage with me, which she has never done. She stood up there with me for part of the song. Yesterday, she came up on the stage without any prompting at all from me. She was totally comfortable. She held my hand while I sang, walked around, acted silly, etc. There were some little girls watching her... I'm sure she noticed. After the band was finished, we stood around talking to some friends. In the meantime, Camryn continued to hang around on the stage, pretending to sing and dance in front of the microphone. While this is something the real Camryn would totally do, she has never felt comfortable enough to do it with the possibility of people watching her. She told me yesterday, "That medicine sure does taste bad, but it really does work!" I just smiled. I'm overjoyed that more people are getting to see a glimpse of the real Camryn!

God is Good!

Camryn has now talked to almost everyone in her class now and even many kids in her switching class and the kids at Kool After School. Not her teachers, though, but that's ok. There is a woman who works at the school who has Camryn give her this "special secret handshake" every morning as she walks down the hall. Up until recently, Camryn wouldn't give anyone a handshake at all, not even stick her hand out or anything.

I can't tell you how joyful it makes me feel to pick up Camryn from KAS and see her talking (or pretty much whispering since most of the time they are quietly doing homework in the cafeteria) with other kids. God has definitely answered our prayers! I am so very grateful to Him!!! God is good!

"The Lesson" Written by Camryn Tackert

Camryn had extra time as school yesterday and chose to write a little story. I thought I would share it with you exactly as she wrote it:

Once there was a girl named Camryn. She loved horses! On that day she rode to a feild full of horses! Across the feild she saw Mrs. Kim walking towerds her. Are you ready. Camryn jumped on the horse and suddenly the horse took off running. Hey I'm ridding, I'm ridding! Woo Hoo! She felt Bamma's long, smooth hair float agantst her shoulders. Finally Bamma stopped. Good boy Bamma! After a long while, she went walking with Bamma. That was a good lesson. She said.

The fact that Camryn had any extra time at school is extraordinary. She is usually so anxious that she has to go to Content Mastery to finish her work.

O.T.'s a No-Go

Well, it looks like we probably will not be able to do the occupational therapy after all. Our insurance doesn't cover the cost because the treatment is considered experimental. I wrongly assumed that the cost couldn't be as much as a psychologist since a psychologist is a doctor and O.T.'s aren't, but I was wrong. The cost is $180 per visit. They are trying to see if they can pull some strings to get a cost reduction somehow. I'm really disappointed since I don't have any other resources left to check out in Brenham. Trust me... I've checked out every option, and it seems that every door has been closed. It looks like if Camryn receives any therapy at all, we'll have to look at Houston. Houston's fine during the summer, but it will be virtually impossible to get her there during the school year, and the therapy she gets needs to be on-going with the same person so that a trusting relationship can be built. I don't want to have her see someone for three months, make progress, and then stop going. We really need your prayers regarding some type of therapy program for Camryn.

Talking and OT and 504's... Oh My!

Wow! There's a lot to update you on. First, Camryn is telling us that she is continuing to talk (whisper) in class to new people. Everyday it's someone new (or more like two or three)! Although she hasn't talked to her teachers, one of them told us yesterday that she winked at her and Camryn winked back!

Camryn will have her first occupational therapy appointment on Tuesday. Although I've done some research on OT, I still feel pretty ignorant about it, so this will be an enlightening experience for me, as well as Camryn. They're going to focus on the Sensory Integration Disorder in which she has not ever been diagnosed with but often goes along with SM kids. I'm going to add a link on this page to give more info. It looks like insurance will not cover it, so please pray that it will not be terribly expensive.

Lastly, Gary and I met with the principal, counselor, and one of Camryn's teachers yesterday to discuss the possibility of placing Camryn on a 504. In case you don't know, a 504 is a document that lists certain accomodations for a child that has some type of disability affecting a major life activity (speaking, in Camryn's case). Although it took a lot of effort on my part to prepare for this meeting, it looks like it will be worth it. I stressed that we don't feel Camryn needs this document at her current school, as they do most of the accomodations already, we are unsure that as she goes on to middle school, that she will be accomodated there. The agreement that we reached is that she will be continued to be monitored throughout 3rd grade and 4th grade and that they will provide a 504 before she goes onto 5th. Would I have liked for the 504 to have been in place for 4th grade... just so it could be over and done with? Absolutely. But, my biggest concern is that she gets the help she needs going onto middle school, so I'm OK with that.

Whispering in the Bathroom

Camryn told us yesterday that she spoke to two more little girls in her class that she had never spoken to. Of course, I'm dying to know all the details (who, where, when?), but I have to be careful in my approach to question her about it. I can't act overly interested, in other words. What I did find out was that one of the girls asked her in the bathroom what her favorite color was. She whispered to her... "green."

On another note, I met with the psychologist yesterday. She kinda led me to a different direction, which I'll tell more about later. In the meantime, our 504 meeting has been scheduled at Camryn's school. It's on Thursday afternoon. I have a lot to prepare for... getting all my resources together by then will be a challenge. Please pray that I can convince the "powers that be" that even though her grades do not reflect an "educational need" now, we have to start thinking about her future. Honestly how long can she continue to make good grades without speaking at school?

Camryn was told to "Ssshhhhh?!"

Yesterday was an early release day at school. In addition, the 3rd graders took a field trip to see the children's musical Seussical. I don't know if it had to do with being with her friends outside the boundaries of the school or what, but Camryn said she talked (whispered in their ears) to almost every girl in her class!!! In fact, during the musical, a teacher (not her own) had to tell her and her friend to "ssshhhhh." Wow! We are amazed at what the medication is doing!

Also, I have an initial consultation with a psychologist on Monday. Just me, no Camryn. It's been incredibly difficult to find someone who meets our qualifications: specializes in children/adolescents, female, practices in Brenham, a kind/patient/loving personality, experience with S.M and/or anxiety, and experience in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Please pray that this person is a good match.

Seeing Some Positive Results

Camryn went to her art class yesterday after school. She hadn't been in a while because she's been struggling to get all of her homework done, but art is something she really excels at, and I want her to continue to pursue it. In fact, she has a website with some of her art work over the last couple of years. I've added a link to it on this page.

Anyway... typically, when I pick her up, she notices I'm there and glances at me quickly but then her eyes dart back to her drawing as if she doesn't want anyone to see any kind of reaction in her. She won't speak to me until we are well out of earshot of anyone there. However... yesterday when I went in to get her, she immediately got up and started talking to me, telling me how tired she had been all day. She was leaning all over me to the point where I had to tell her to stop so that I could write a check for the lesson. I tore off the check, handed it to her, and told her to go give it to Mrs. Parker. I expected to have to walk her over to her teacher (after a bit of prodding, of course) and tell her more than once to give her the check. Not yesterday! She quickly grabbed the check out of my hand, walked around the table, and handed it right to Mrs. Parker!!! Wow! I was amazed! (But you know that I couldn't show my delight. I had to keep it all bottled inside until I could tell someone when she wasn't listening). We are starting to see some changes we think is a result of the medication.

My mother also mentioned that when she picked up Camryn from school, a male co-worker was in the car with her. I guess they were going to view a property afterwards or something. Anyway, she said Camryn was talking up a storm to her in his presence. Hmmm.... :)

Anything for a Doughnut!

Camryn wanted a doughnut yesterday at church and asked if she could go get one by herself. She walked out of the sanctuary and into the lobby area and got one... all by herself, with no prodding on our parts. Our church building is small for the number of people that attend, so she walked through a crowd of people to do this! I'm wondering if the medication is kicking in or not. Today will be the fourth day.